How do I write for myself??

Hi, friends! I was writing in my favorite notebook yesterday. It turned into me documenting recipes. Some of them became very subjective and very snarky. Because I was sad at the time, I phrased the instructions in a way that would make me laugh. I wrote out several that way and gave them interesting names. To me, that’s one of the best ways to write.

Off the blog, I have a mouth like a sailor, so some choice language went into writing these recipes down. That made me laugh the most because there’s a large section of my brain that is 12, I swear. Oddly enough, when I use curse words in my writing, I find that I am most often writing for my own enjoyment. That’s a sacred thing. I do a lot of writing for OID, that’s for sure. It’s certainly informative, but is it written for my own enjoyment? Partly, but it doesn’t do much to make me laugh. Rather, it’s written for you, friends.

Why Do I Write?

That’s not to say that I love writing on here. It’s not intended for me and me alone, but that doesn’t stop me from loving what I write. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t post anything I wasn’t proud of. Writing here is one of the highlights of my day.

My friend Tori at the Less Than Perfect Life said that she’d like to see more of me in my posts, and I’m still working on how to do that. As I said in my previous post about hope, I’m not a natural optimist, especially when I write. There’s a tendency for my less-than-hopeful posts to become dark and depressing, so that’s why I haven’t spoken about my personal life that much. One of my readers called OID wholesome, and I want to uphold that reputation. So how can I strike a balance between my personal story and the wholesome nature of the blog? That’s the money question.

Question and Answer

I think it’s a matter of reframing my story. That’s something I have a lot of trouble with – telling it in a way that focuses on the good rather than the bad. I remember talking to my guides at one point about the nature of anger and one of them said “those who are angry are still in pain.” I’m getting chills just writing that. Am I still in pain, or have I healed? Before that, he said that I need to love everyone, regardless of whether or not I care about them. There are people who have taught me things and they need to be loved, too. That was mind blowing and very healing for me. I’d been dealing with a great deal of anger and that helped me get rid of some of it.

A great part of the positive side of my story is spiritual in nature. I have gone through a lot of spiritual growth recently, which is one of the things that led me to practice my craft. I have been beating myself up a lot, though, which has kinda put a wall between my guides and me. When I’m hating on myself, anything good people tell me about myself feels like a lie. They tell me good things and look like liars when they’re not. That’s unfair to them and to me. I need to write about and honor the positive sides of myself, too.

So What’s The Solution?

I don’t have a perfect solution right now because I’m still in a really hard place. I think that hard places are the best places to learn and grow in, though, because they’re where self care matters most, I think. I’ll do my best to write more about me, but it may take a bit to perfect it, you know?

Thank you for reading! Stay cool!
-E